I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
