So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
