I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
