I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
