I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
