Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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