1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
third nipple confirmed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
