well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
