were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
