You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
