I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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