Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
