Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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