He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize