Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
