I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
