ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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