Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have fence marks all over my body
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
