i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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