ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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