3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My nipple is on Facebook.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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