i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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