what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
