Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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