you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
