I heard we made out
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
