Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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