That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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