so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
