I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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