I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize