i jhust puked up my retainher.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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