so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she told me i tasted like america
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
