Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When are your genitals available?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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