Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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