Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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