the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
