All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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