when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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