walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
