And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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