He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
