If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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