I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't turn off my feet"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
