HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Are we still banned from the library?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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