I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
