she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize