Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
