ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
