its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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