He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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