This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
