I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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