Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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