So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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