Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
