sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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