I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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