he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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