Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
