I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
